Sunday, December 26, 2004

Attack of the Boobah...

So, Christmas has come and gone. It was really cool to have my family here under one roof. I cooked a HUGE turkey dinner for all and it was a hit. I also baked 3 (count 'em) pies (yes, I realize that I am insane).

Present opening was a bit overwhelming for the wee one. We are definately going to have to cull the herd when it comes to toyland here. The kid is 2 and he has enough oys for 5 children. It's friggin ridiculous.

My younger brother took Jacob, out to pick his own toy on Christmas eve. Jacob picked out one of those mechanical, singing/dancing boobah doll things. It's beyond hideous and generally gives me the willies. They remind me (warning, what follows is not for the faint of heart, so if you're easily offended stop reading now or don't say that I didn't warn you) ...of uncircumcised penises. And the head is strangely human baby like, but there's no mouth and the 'ears' are littlem preposterour pointy protrusions (don't you just love alliteration?). I also feel like it's following me at all times with it's ridiculously large and WIDE eyes. All that to say, Jacob is absolutely in LOVE with the disturbingly loud contortionist contraption ('WHY' boggles the mind) so the rest of us just have to get used to it, I guess...until he gets bored with it and I hide it under the bed. Which ever happens first.

Anyhow, I hope you've all had astoundingly joyful Christmases and that the New Year brings even MORE JOY!!


Monday, December 13, 2004

"Bwoooooooke, bwooooooke"

We have a tree! It's up! Most of the ornaments are intact...save one red ball and one Resin Tigger, since glued. Jacob was very upset at his breaking and chanted over and over 'Bwoooooke, bwooke' almost reverantly, while pointing at the carnage.

The weekend was fun. Our little diesel truck has been refusing to start, so hubby enlisted several able bodied grad students to help him push it up a hill so we could try to start it by 'popping the clutch'. It didn't work. We were left w/ one 1/4 tonne blue truck at the bottom of a very steep hill. In a Church parking lot. On Friday. Not good.

A very sweet, kindly, neighbour helped him tow it back up the hill. It started with attempt #2. I know what you're thinking. 'WHY DID YOU PUSH IT OVER THE HILL AGAIN??!' or perhaps 'WHY DIDN"T YOU JUST PUSH IT OFFA CLIFF?' Trust me, we were tempted. So, anyhow, the thing is now being repaired by my rather generous father.

We went Christmas shopping on Saturday and my sainted mother kept the boy. Jacob was thrilled to be staying with Nana. So much so, that he couldn't wait for us to get our butts out the door. No problemo, sonny boy :). He damanded a kiss and then said 'Kay, go'. Love you too, oh blessed product of my womb.

Got lots accomplished and the crowds weren't all that bad, surprisingly enough! We were lucky enough to have a visit with the tremendous Trenholms, which was lovely, as always.

Anyhow, now, I'm back at boring work, avoiding the stack of marking that's awaiting me. So, I suppose I should get to it before some one finds out and decides not to pay me :D

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!h

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

So, I usually try to keep this thing light but...

....there's been something weighing on my mind lately. It was somewhat provoked by another person's blog and also a conversation with a family member.

There are some who believe that women have no place in active combat. Why? Why, as a woman, is my life more valuable than a man's? Because I am some ones daughter? Because I am some one's sister? Because I am some one's mother?

I think that last one is the kicker. It all goes back to the uterus. So, I am a woman. I have one. I can bear children. So what? Yes, I love knowing that I have produced another life. I love knowing that I might get the chance to do it again someday, but does that make my life more precious than my husband's life? He is some one's son, brother and FATHER. Why is he less important?

'Collateral damage' in war includes innocent women and children. But that's ok. It's just not okay to send female soldiers into a war zone. Does this make sense?

For me, equality, in terms of treatment, is non-negotiable. Either you want it or you don't. I don't want to be treated better than a male counterpart. I want to be treated the same. There is a distinct difference. I don't want to *BE* the same! Men and women are not the same! I want the same opportunities and the same benefits. If I dont' chose to use these, that's my descision, but I want the opportunity to choose.

If I want to stay at home with my kid, I don't want to be made to feel guilty by the 'no holds barred' feminists of the world. If I make that choice, it will be mine. It doesn't mean that I am opressed in my 'traditional' role. It means that I chose that position for me. On the flip side, I don't want to be made to feel guilty for wanting a career outside of my home and family by the traditionalists of the world.

I guess I just want it all. But who doesn't??

When it comes right down to it, the opinions of most others don't matter much. As long as I feel that my descisions are right, and they are the same in the eyes of my family and my God, it's all good.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Do you wanna know what bugs me?

Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway :).

I am a red head. I have always hated that. Children are cruel to children with red hair....especially the ones with coke bottle thick glasses and braces and a bad perm (BTW, if anyone ever asks you if they should get a perm, the answer is ALWAYS NO!!). But, I digress. NOW, well, since I started university, suddenly, red hair is the colour to have! I'm always getting compliments on my hair colour! People are always telling me that they want to dye their hair *this* colour* and, while I appreciate them and the compliments, it's hard to switch gears. For the first little while, I thought people were secretly making fun of me. Now, I have learned to say thank you and be appreciative and believe that they aren't secretly laughing at me inside. So, moving on to what bugs me: It bugs me that it's so easy to dye your hair red. It should be hard! You should have to have all that cruel teasing programmed into your brain somehow to be a redhead!! I had to suffer, so everyone else should too, right? :) Not to say that these bottle redheads don't look fabulous, because they do...

Oh, and I'm sick of people asking me if this is my *real* hair colour and then them not believing me when I say yes. I feel like I have to carry around a baby picture at all times.

I've come to actually *gulp* LIKE my redhair now. I've come to terms and made my peace with it. So, now it'll probably all fall out or turn stark white and I'll have to become what bugs me....a bottle redhead. *sigh*

On a funny note, I was speaking to a friend yesterday. Her youngest babe is 5 months old. Her mother in law had come to visit and, when she (my friend) sat down to nurse the baby, the MIL asked 'Are you *STILL* nursing him?'. My friend, who is usually very reserved, looked at MIL with a smile and said, 'Why? Are you hungry?'. And they moved on to other topics.

LOL, YAY, lady! :) Too funny

Friday, December 03, 2004

Why do they have to get sick?

So, my darling dear is sick. He started running a fever yesterday night. When Jacob gets a feverr, it doesn't matter if it's 101 or 104, his behaviour is the same. He resembles a wet sail. His eyes look glazed over and red rimmed, his breathing is shallow, and he's white as a sheet. All he wants is to be held, BY ME, and to doze in my arms. It's really very heartbreaking.

So, we called our family Doc to get an appointment, as the kiddo has no other symptoms other than the fever (he's not snurgely, no snot, no cough) and from past experience, this tends to mean he has strep throat. Not good. So, the receptionist, in all her sugary sweetness, informed us that she could squeeze us in sometime around January 14 or 15. Um, I have eggs in my fridge that will expire before then. No thank you. What's the use of having a family doctor if you can't get in to see her when your child is sick? Grrrrrr...

So, our remaining options were to go to outpatients, or go to the walk in clinic downtown. I hate the walk in clinic. I hate everything about it. I hate sitting under the flourescent lights, surrounded by dozens of sick, coughing people, holding my sick little boy who is MISERABLE, and watching other people do the same. It's heartbreaking and it's frustrating. I have never spent less than 2 hours waiting there to see my own frigging family doctor, or some doctor I don't even know. I guess I shouldn't complain. I know that there are plenty of people who wait 6 hours or more to see a Doctor in emergency rooms...The whole process just irritates me. I want my baby to feel better and I want to go home. It didn't help that between boughts of snuggling inside my jacket, Jacob would look up at me imploringly and weakly say 'Home, Mama, home. Go, Mama, go home. Peade?'.

Anyhow, we arrived at 6pm, were seen at 8 an out of there by 8:30. His fever was 40 degrees celcius at that point and so I guess the nurse and doctor kinda freaked out a little. I'm not sure what that is in farenheit...104 maybe? Anyhow, hubby had given him advil at 2 pm, so he couldn't have another dose until at least 8, and I had brought it with me, but the lovely nurse still looked at me and said 'He needs another dose! Why haven't you given it to him??'. What I wanted to say 'Yeah, lady, I like seeing my kid like this, so I withhold medication until the last possible second.' What I did say 'Well, they're supposed to get it every 6-8 hours. It's just now been barely 6 hours, I did bring it with me tho'. Her reply: "Well, you'd better get it into him ASAP!".. Yes, ma'am.

So, I gave him the advil. The Doc finally saw us and ordered another dose of tylenol for him and wouldn't let us leave until his temp started coming down. His ears are slightly infected. No throat problems, horray! Oh, and the best part was that the doc asked me to give him another dose of advil. That would be 6mL's in total!!!!!!! The reg dose is 3 mls! I reluctantly agreed after questioning the dose (he assured me that the proper dose for Jacob's weight was 6 mLs)and gave him what was left in the bottle. So, in total, he got about 4.5 mL's of advil and then another 5 mL of Tylenol. Holy DRUGS, Batman! His fever started coming down almost immediately, so we got the greenlight and busted outta there. I stopped by the pharmacy on the way home to pick up more drugs and discovered that the proper dose of CHILDREN'S ADVIL for a child of Jacob's weight is indeed 6 mLs. However, I was not using CHILDREN'S ADVIL, but INFANT ADVIL, which is concentrated and double the dose. I was preturbed, to say the least. Anyhow, after the pharmacist assured a WHITE FACED ME, that this wouldn't kill him, I was placated enough to go home. That's all I needed to know.

So, home I went with a perky toddler, who proceeded to eat two granola bars and promptly fell asleep....at 10pm. I contemplated drinking a bottle of wine to calm my frazzeled nerves, but resisted and made it up to myself with some leftover pizza and gingerale.

I know why mothers get gray hair. I only have one child. Is there any hope for me? I never shoulda let him stop breastfeeding. He NEVAH got sick while I was nursing him. It all went to pot once he stopped. Do you think they'd look at me funny if I went to school at lunch time to feed him? Probably. *SIGH* Why the heck do they have to get sick???

On a positive note, labs are over for this semester. YAY!


Monday, November 29, 2004

GREAT BIG SEA!

I went to the best concert on Saturday! We got a babysitter (thanks Mom), went out to dinner, even had desert and went to the concert and it KICKED ASS!!! The opening acts were even good. It's been sooooooooooo very long since we've been out alone together and it was really nice.

So, back to the concert. Great Big Sea is one of my all time favourite bands. They're right up there with U2, John Mayer and James Taylor for me. They're from Newfoundland and they sing a lot of really old sea shanty's, traditional and traditional style music as well as some really sweet, simple and honest ballads. Ive been to 5 of their concerts now, and they never fail to get the crowd on their feet. Here's their website http://www.greatbigsea.ca .

They played one that I'd never heard before, and it's quickly becoming a favourite. Here are the lyrics:

He was born a sailors son
Nothing came easy or free
He suffered the squalls all the rises and falls
And everything else in between
But he says storms always fade after they've had their way
They're never as bad as they seem
As long as the rivers still run to the seas
Hey Lucky You Lucky Me

Who'd ever thought for a moment
She'd have to grow up so fast
School beauty queen with a child at sixteen
Swore that her fortunes had passed
But blessings can hide in the strangest disguise
I know that she would agree
As long as the rivers still run to the seas
Hey Lucky You Lucky Me

Hey look at me in the spotlight
Ripped jeans and rock and roll hair
Feeling so cool but I’d be such a Fool
Singing to no one out there
So Hey take a bow every band needs a crowd
And I've got a song we can sing
As long as the rivers still run to the seas
Hey Lucky You Lucky Me


Anyhow, I'll all about songs that just make you feel good, just as much as I'm about songs that make you think. It's all good :)

On another interesting note, have you noticed how much easier and faster it is to eat at a resturant w/o children? It's pretty amazing! And not once did we discuss Pooh bear, choo choo trains, or poopy diapers. Astounding :)


Friday, November 26, 2004

Funny stuff

For those with no children, this is totally hysterical.
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children at this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is a form of birth
control!

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas: "Things
I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):"

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house 4
inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with
roller skates / blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint on all four walls of a large room.

5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the
ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by
a
ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already
too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jelly.

15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and very
expensive to remove.

18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20
minutes.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing.

> 25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake
fluid.

I am a geek (bubble wrap and pipettor related)

Today has been rather boring. The most exciting thing that has happened is that I was given a new pen. It's in the shape of an ependorf micropipettor. Terribly exciting! I have wanted one for ages. Yes, I am a geek.

Or maybe I should say that I like the simple things in life? For example, I know it's going to be a good day if I buy something or something comes in the mail that's been done up in BUBBLE WRAP. I garner inordinate pleasure from meticulously popping each and every last bubble. Big or small, it matters naught. I also really love it if I find a bubble of dead skin on my foot, cuz then I get to peel it off. I know, I know, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww! But this is fun stuff for me.

So, simple tastes, or weird geek? You decide. Be nice. Should I include a door number three?? :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Towing the line...

Do you ever have those moments where you can actually *see* the line that you're not supposed to cross over with your kids? I had one of those two days ago. I was lying on the sofa with my head resting on my husbands lap while our dear son, Jacob, was being a wild lunatic, crawling all over us and trying to stand up on my chest. I was diligently trying to disuade him from this behaviour, as my motherly instincts were telling me this could only end in tears....but I was thinking my son's tears.

So, the dear boy loses his balance and his big ole head (the one it took 45 minutes to push OUT of me) crashes full speed into my nose. There was an audible and loud CRACK. I was stunned. I saw stars. I was instantly overcome by INTENSE pain. I was also instantly in tears (this doesn't happen often) and when I looked up, the child who I love more than life itself, was grinning down at me. I lost it. I literally wanted to scream at him and toss him off me. But there was that line. I saw it. I took a step back. Instead, I picked him up, handed him forcefully to my husband and ran off to the bathroom bleeding and in tears.

So, Jacob, at this point, had lost his smile and took off after me. I couldn't let him into the bathroom. I just couldn't. I needed to regroup.

So, after about 3 or 4 minutes, I felt like I'd gotten ahold of myself and came out. He was waiting for me. I gave him a hug and told him that I loved him and he'd hurt Mama and that he needed to be more careful.

That was that.

So, someone tells me that this parenting thing gets EASIER instead of HARDER! Please?! Anyone? If you have to lie to me, that's ok! *sigh*

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

The Milk of Human kindness

So, it's been a wild and wacky couple of days. We had a huge snowstorm (40-50 cm in some places) and lost power for 2.5 days. Not long at all, really, and we were very lucky to have woods stoves to keep warm and to cook on.

This type of thing seems to bring out the best and the WORST in people! Our neighbours were fantastic! Providing us will water fromt their dug well to flush our toilet and wash our dishes. WE, in turn, provided them with camp fuel and hot bannock. Our other neighbours and their two small children came to stay with us as they had only electric heat. The kids had a BLAST together! :) No TV and no tape player meant that they had to get back to basic's to amuse themselves. Much fun was had clearing out my pot cupboards, rearranging the fridge magnets and making artwork ON my coffee table (thankfully w/ washable crayons). There was much snow to cavort around in whilst Dennis shoveled, so, all was right in babyland :). Stores that are normally closed on Sunday opened up and were taking cash for provisions. If you didnt' have cash, most just asked that you make a list of what you'd taken and come back later to pay. Seriously! They didn't ask for names or addresses, just that you come back on your honour.

On the flip side, an angry woman who was w/o power, saw fit to barg in on a legislative meeting that was being televised (in a search for the Premier) to vent her spleen. WHINER! Yeah, it sucked, and yeah, it probably shouldn't have happened, but suck it up and do what needs doing! When everything is taken care of and everyone has power and is warm and fed and in their own homes again, then you can find the proper scapegoats and chew them out. Now is the time to band together and spend your time regrouping. Those poor linesmen out there in subzero temperatures, in the middle of nowhere, around the clock have my complete respect and gratitude! I wouldn't wanna be up a pole in the pitch black playing with millions of volts of electricity! My hat's off to them!

I, on the other hand, spent most of my waking hours in the kitchen! Cooking, washing dishes, melting snow to aid in our water supply. There's lots more work to do when one has no power! It's was actually kinda nice tho. I enjoyed cooking over my wood stove. Everything had to be made from scratch, of course, and took much longer to prepare and cook, but I didn't have to go into work and I didn't get bored. I kinda felt a little like 'Ma Ingles' except that there were no cows to milk or chickens to feed.

Ya, it was fun, but I'm very happy to be back in the land of internet access and hot showers.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Snow, cold, ugh.

Winter is on it's way. It snowed here two days ago. Argh. Not enough to have to shovel it, mind you, but actual bonafide SNOW.

It's getting colder and colder in my little closet of an office. I keep hearing rumours of a space heater, but as yet, It has not materialized. I have visions of myself wearing a scarf, touque and mittens in days to come. I mean C'MON! It's only November! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa splat.

So, in other news, my darling son discovered how to crawl out of his crib last night. He subsequently discovered that gravity does indeed work. I found him crying on his back. Poor man. So, it looks as if the 'big boy bed' is in our near future. My baby is growing up. It sucks...and it's great! But it sucks.

So, as my fingers are not responding properly (due to the cold) I'll sign off and big you, 'Good DAY, eh?!'

:)

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Colour me crazy.

"I child-proofed my house but they STILL get in"

:)

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Why is there no inbetween?

Seriously? Why do these students o' mine seem to be either SUPER DUPER smart and consientious w/ a super work ethic and a thrist for knowlege, or dumb as a post? I suppose 'dumb as a post' is rather innacurate and uncharitable. Perhaps 'LAZY and UNCONCERNED' would be better adjectives?

*SIGH*

If I spoke spanish, this is where you'd suddenly see a page or three of incoherent, SUPERFAST, spanish stuff with lots of 'DIOS'es and 'QUE's mixed in.


Friday, October 29, 2004

Pictures

I'm trying to figure out how to post a picture...lets see if this works

This is my first official picture as a Mommy. It's titled "HOLY CRAP!"



Will it work??

Example

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Thursday Morning, 9 am.

It's Thursday. It's cold. I'm at work. Again.

Last night I went to my 'WOW' meeting, and WOW! What an amazing time we had! Did a read thru of the pieces of writing that will be used for the 'production' and we laughed, we cried, we got angry...it was an amazing night. I also got to hold a 2 month old baby girl named Imogen. I love that name! She is a cutie pie! I want one! Her mother is a very interesting lady. Dread-locked, skirted, unshaven and unappolagetic :). She bemoaned to me the fact that her newborn has, as yet, been unwilling to take milk from a bottle and none of her friends are lactating. She asked me if I was still nursing :). I would totally do that tho! I'd nurse some one else's baby if they wanted me to. Letting someone else nurse *MY* baby is quite another thing. If it was someone I knew EXTREMELY well and trusted implicitly, then, yes, no problemo...Strange to think about, tho, is it not? My friend, Janis, told me she could smell the estrogen coming off me :). It's true, I do have baby lust. Anyone have a newborn they want to lend me to cure me of that affliction? It *might* work....

So, as you can well imagine, it's rather a let down to be sitting at this desk again, at 9 am, correcting lal reports.

On the upside, I haven't had breakfast yet and my GIGANTOR honey crisp apple is patiently awaiting my ravenous hunger. Mmmmmmmmmmm...fresh apple. *Drool*

So, there it is. Not a terribly interesting blog, but then I told you I was going to be mundane!!!


Again, to end with a joke:

Little Johnny was a problem child from the get go. His mother had found him playing with turpentine of late and sought the counsel of her local priest for help and guidance. 'Father, I can't get my little Johnny to STOP playing with turpentine! I'm worried about his lungs and his safety', she wailed. The kindly old priest responded w/ a 'there, there' and 'Why don't you send little Johnny to me and I'll see what I can do?'. So, little Johnny is directed to report to the priest the following morning. He walks into the priest's chambers carrying a slingshot and a large can of turpentine. 'Johnny', says the priest, 'Why don't you trade that can of turpentine with me for a bottle of Holy Water?'

'Father, what in the HELL, is HOLY WATER. What can I do with THAT? Turpentine is soooooo useful! You can start fires with it, it smells good, you can make paint runny. What can you do withHOLY WATER?' replies Johnny. After the priest recovers from that little tirade, he says "Why, Johnny, Holy Water is very special! It has many magical properties. Why, just the other day, I rubbed some on a woman's stomach and she passed TWINS!'

'Aw, Father', says Johnny, 'That's nothing! Just last week, I rubbed some turpentine on a cat's ass and he passed two cars and a motorcycle!'

:):)

Sunday, October 24, 2004

P.S.

Might I add that I'm terribly psyched that people other than my friends read this thing?! There is life out there :) YAY!

Fall musings

I really LOVE the fall! The leaves, the crisp air, the gray days. I love it all! I really do wish it would last longer! I love being able to walk around in a sweater and a hat! I love seeing my breath and I love the pink cheeks on all of the maurading little monsters out frolicking about (toddlers, children, etc).

Yesterday night, I had a fabulous girls night with my dear friend. WE ate yummy thai food at a little resturant w/ carved elephant heads and miscellaneous Buddha's on the wall and then took a stroll down a busy city street in the cool fall air. Then, of course, we headed off to the MALL TO SHOP! :) I think I enjoyed the company and the stroll the most tho.

Good friends are like a warm coat and a scarf in the fall. Even tho the outside world is chill and crisp, inside is warm and cozy, like a big hug...and the cold isn't bad! It just makes us more appreciative of the warmth they give.

Wow, that was deep....I need to burp or fart or something now :).

So, with that, I need to think of another joke to end with.

How about my favorite?

What's red and invisible??! NO TOMATOES!

Not that funny, but I still love it :):). But I'm a whacko.

Toodles!

Friday, October 22, 2004

Look at me, I'm a blogging fool!

So I dropped my son off at Daycare for the first time this morning. It was reallty rather strange. He only goes 2 days a week, but I feel like this is yet another step he's taking away from me. He's such a little boy now! There's no baby left at all!. It's exciting to watch him grow, but it's sad that he's growing up and away from me.

So, once again, I have to pee and I'm procrastinating. I came to school today wearing a shirt that must have gotten bleach on it at one time or another and I failed to notice this...I wonder if anyone will think it's strange if I wear my lab coat all day? Hmmmmmmmmm...

I think I will end with a joke :)

So, a woman and her husband arrive at a maternity hospital. She is in active labour and is admitted immediately. She is experiencing a HUGE amount of pain and so asks for an epidural. The husband says to her 'Honey, if I could take your pain, I would'. The nurse says "well, we can give you an epidural, but would you like to try a revolutionary new method of pain relief? We now have a way to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father! We can start out with with just 25% to begin with, are you interested?' The father decides that he's prepared to handle this and agrees to it. The nurse transfers 25% of the pain. She says 'Now, this is probably the most intense pain you've ever felt in your life, so we'll start out slow'. She turns the switch. The father isn't phased in the least. 'I'm not in ANY pain!' he says, 'Crank it up!' Reluctantly the nurse complies and gives the father 50% of the pain. Still, he isn't phased. The wife is feeling so much better and agrees to have it upped again. So, the nurse transfers 75% of the pain to the father. Daddy is still A OK and the nurse has never seen such a thing. "Most father's can't even handle 25%! You're amazing!'. 'Aw, shucks" says the father, 'Why don't you just give it all to me?' and as he's done so well thus far, the nurse agrees. The wife gives birth to a beautiful son, PAIN FREE!

So, 2 days later, they bring their new baby boy home and find the mailman dead on the front step :):)

Look at me, I'm a blogging fool!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

I am freezing my butt off!

So, it's cold. My little closet office has no heater, and the geniuses that run the lab outside me have, once again, left the window OPEN. My fingers feel like icicles.

I have to pee, but I don't have time. It's inconvenient to have to pee when one is embroiled in marking labs and entering data.

This is probably going to be a very non-profound, infernally boring blog, but, there's nothing for it. Such is my life.

I'll end with a profound quote so as to motivate furthur postings.

'They who know the storm, sicken of the calm'.

I wish I could remember who said it :)