Thursday, February 14, 2013

This was not a good morning.

Today is Valentines Day. Happy Valentines Day! Now that that's out of the way, onto my whining.

Today started like any other morning. My alarm went off at 5:45. I ignored it until 6:01. At 6:01, I lept energetically out of bed and crept quietly downstairs to shower. Usually I shower the night before so as not to waste precious sleep time, but I decided to forgo that bit of wisdom last night. Not that it would have saved me otherwise, but it meant that my time would be more pressed. Whatever. So, I did the regular stuff one does in the morning: cleaned and arranged myself. Made lunch for the kids. Set out little Valentines treats for them to find when they woke up. Chocolate of course. I don't have to be the morning parent, so I figured I'd let Dennis deal with the consequences of chocolate in the morning. Muah ha ha. I left gummy tarantulas for him. I'm just that good of a wife. Don't be jealous.

So, my clothes were in the dryer. At this point I was already running a little late, so I was in a bit of a rush. I bounded down the stairs and made the split second descision to skip the last one. I was looking over at the drying rack and in the process of deciding that I should put it away lest some small human trip on it, or decide to use it as a Tarzan swinging device (it has happened, I'm not gonna lie) when suddenly I found myself on my back on the floor. What the...? I'd fallen? Slipped in a puddle of something wet and liquidy. Legs gone completely out from underneath me, head on the floor. Dammit! Had Dennis left a puddle from his wet boots? I'd already found muddy, melted snow puddles in my kitchen the night before. This is such a no no in my world. Punishable by with holding of desert and kisses! No, there was just too much of whatever it was for it to be boot melt. What could it be? Had a pipe leaked? No, there wasn't anything else around. I was covering all of whatever it was. And then the horrible truth dawned on me. There was only one other thing that it could be. WARNING: what is to follow is not pleasant. It's actually really, really, really gross. Really. Proceed with caution.



















It was









Cat vomit. A huge puddle of cat vomit. Cold, stinking, wet, runny, cat vomit. Luckily my clothes were still in the dryer. Clean. Vomit free. I peeled off my robe, wiped my feet on it (guh) and tiptoed NAKED upstairs. Most of me was vomit free, but I didn't even want to check my hair. I got back in the shower. I shudder as I type this. Then I had the distinct pleasure of going back downstairs (in a towel this time) to clean up the offending puddles. I may burn my robe. I haven't decided yet. I don't do well with vomit clean up. I spend most of the time trying very hard not to add my own vomit to the pile, and this morning was no exception. But I did it. It's done. I am vomit-free. Sore in many places, but vomit-free.


The day can only get better from here.

Sunday, February 03, 2013

To the two people who read this...

Please forgive the lack of blogging. Life has been hectic. I started a new job and my kids went back to school and it snowed a lot and my husband left to go chase caribou, moose and wolves. And it's -30, but that's not really worth mentioning because this is Manitoba.

But it's great. I love it. Awesome. Bring it on.

I got a new car. Did I mention that I got a new car? Because I got a new car! One that has an intact head gasket and does not overheat. Yay! His name is Mr. Grey. Because he's grey. I love him. He is an '09 Honda Civic. I do miss Lucille Blue car. Let us have a moment of silence for her.

Okay, that's enough silence. I don't really want her back, but she was (mostly) a good car and one must forgive and move on.

School has been cancelled 2 times in the last 3 weeks due to the cold. If the ambient temperature is -35 or less OR the windchill is -45 or less, school is cancelled. Yep, we hit that. Global warming, my buttockal region. Let me just go on record and say that -45? FUHREAKING cold! Unnatural. Unnecessary. Uncalled for. But it's Manitoba, so really, whatever.

Work is good. I have been renewing my animal certifications. Surgery, blood collection etc. I don't love animal work, but I do it because it is necessary. I feel comfortable in doing what I do because the protocols set in place by the university and the CCAC are very stringent and are strictly adhered to. Animals are not in unnecessary pain and they are treated as humanely as possible. I still don't like poking little ratties, but I feed them fruit loops and they forgive me.

Dennis is gone again. Berens river this time. The worst part of this for me is that I don't know exactly when he is going nor exactly when he might be back. I have a nebulous sort of idea but I don't know exactly when the events will come about. I don't do well with this. Uncertianty is not my friend. Especially when I have 2 little people's schedules + mine to juggle and work out. Ol' Wildcard Dennis gets to galavant as he pleases and I am left to pick up the pieces. Nothing new there. I love him and it is his job and he can't help it and it's not his fault, but it's not my favourite part of his chosen profession. He's lucky he's cute.

So, that's about it. Nothing much else to report. Did I mention that it is freaking cold? I'm sure that I must have. The thermostat in my house stopped registering humidity and just started saying "Lo".  Whatever. It's awesome. I love it. I'll just go on and get down with my bad self.