Warning: Cat related swearing within.

Caveat: I do not submit this blog post to complain. I submit it because it is funny. I have the utmost appreciation for my husband, I swear!

My husband, like Jesus, is the son of a carpenter. He is pretty handy, I must say, but due to the origin of his parentage, he believes himself capable of taking on almost any carpentry related task. In most situations, he is amply qualified and does an amazing job. Other times, he misses the mark. Not by much, but the mark is still missed. Example: He installed a new door. It does not close properly. When you pull it shut behind you, it does not latch and bounces back open. He assures me that it closes just fine, I'm just closing it improperly. Say what? I assured him that I have not altered my door closing methods much in the last 15 years so he could go pound rocks. I said it nicely, I swear.

This door-not-shutting-right is an issue mainly because I have two indoor cats. The Asshole is one of them. One of the things that makes him an asshole is that he is an escape artist. He seems to know when the door has not latched properly and will bat at it until he's opened it enough to squeeze through, take off and hide under the nearest vehicle. Add two children, who just slam the door behind them when they exit or enter, to the mix and you have a recipe for much frustration. Imagine arriving home to be greeted by your strictly indoor cat in the middle of your drive way, front door wide open, blowing in the breeze. This has happened more than once. I am less than impressed.

So, today is windy. The door has randomly blown open 3 times already and the cat has escaped twice. Hence he has been stalking the door, lying in wait for the next blow open. I have recieved the standard "You don't close the door properly" lecture no less than twice already. I'm over it. Anyhow, I am folding laundry in the kitchen and I hear my husband enter. Not 20 seconds later, I hear the door blow open. Fortunately, husband is still in the vicinity. I hear "Nah, no NO!" then a pause and a quiet "You bastard" and the door slams shut and bounces open once again. Heh. At least he had the good grace to look sheepish when he came back inside with the cat slung over his shoulder.

Why do we have cats again? Oh yeah, they suck you in cuz they're cute.